Squarecrotch and the Housewives

Written by Minnie on October 31, 2012 Categories: about me

well, despite being sick I totally kicked some housewifely ass today. not only is there some soup in the slow cooker but i chopped up a bunch of veggies including, the ones in the fridge on the verge of composting, and put them in vacuum sealed bags in order to be instant stir fry ingredients. Hey! It might work!? you never know.

I’ve been having an intense aversion to cooking lately. not only did i not can one single thing this season but i can barely muster the energy to cook pasta. cooking just has too many damn steps for me to deal with right now. plus, a new med i am taking is being something of an appetite suppressant and so i’m not hungry AND just nothing sounds good to eat. Except candy and toast.

I have a cold on top of a cold with a sinus infection. It’s not pretty. I missed some classes and yet still haven’t gotten to loaf in bed properly. I REALLY want to loaf in bed and I resent pretty much everything else on earth.

Please weigh in on these issues:

Is anyone else having the smart phone square crotch problem? Not only does it make my pelvis look weird but it advertises that i have a possibly expensive smart phone. I can’t keep it in my purse because then i have to dig around for it and it gets lost. I might have to start keeping it in my underwear or I will have to sew an extra pocket on the inside of my jeans. oh, and that also reminds me to mention that the pockets on my lady jeans aren’t even big enough for my entire phone to be in them. wtf, lady jeans?

Does anyone else hate it when characters on a TV show give each other the “significant glance”?

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Armies of Moles

Written by Minnie on October 21, 2012 Categories: parenting

chef moles
magneto moles
naughty moles
super moles
spy moles
pilot moles
scientist moles
hockey moles
sewing moles
ninja moles
rocket pack moles
farty moles
poopy moles

There is an army of moles for almost every situation.

Jack’s bed can travel at night, by using it’s rocket power, through a complicated network of underground tunnels, all of which also connect to his underground laboratory that is underneath the road cut on 40th Street. He often goes down there after Vim and I are asleep to watch movies or hatch evil plans. All his armies of moles live there. Moles are good because they can travel underground and make tunnels to go where ever they want.

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WHYYYYY MEEEEEEE

Written by Minnie on July 11, 2012 Categories: about me, depression, rant

So, I’ve been messing about with making herbal remedies. I KNOW! I’m a fucking hippy or something. To make it worse the ingredients are infused oils I made myself from plants I grew in the backyard. Not only am I a hippy but I’m a fucking dork as well.

the salve i made last night came out awesome though. I used beeswax, coconut oil and vitamin e oil from the store and dried calendula from the market and the chamomile, comfrey and lavender from my backyard. It smells a little hinky since I used the coconut oil that still smells vaguely of coconut but it still smells yummy. I rubbed it all over jack’s bug bites and other wounds this morning.

Now, I must move on to making lotions. I will get shea butter today and the non-smelly coconut oil.

Last night as I was slaving over a hot stove making totally pointless salves I was wondering, ‘does everyone do this? Like, have 30 million projects all done half-assed and then forgotten about in like 5 minutes?”.

I think I’ve been a little bit insane for the past 5 years. My new theory is that the structure of work kept me in line. For 10 hours a day I was basically forced to be somewhat on task although I was a mediocre employee for a lot of reasons. one of them was that I couldn’t quite feel any enthusiasm for the business and another is that I could never concentrate enough to keep learning all the stuff I needed to learn and that always stressed me out and that combination made me ultra unambitious. But, like every other damn thing in my life, I can coast because I am reasonably smart.

back to lotion…
so, yeah. I’ll waste most of today making lotions when I should be doing other more useful stuff like sewing myself sleazy outfits. I looked around my bathroom this morning and just visible from the toilet were about 6 different lotion-y type things. Some of them EXTREMELY old probably purchased about 5 years ago. MUST.MAKE.LOTION.NOW.

Tomorrow is my birthday! Wheeee!

Here is a picture of my cat with her head in a watering can.
cat with head in watering can...

and in other other news, we have a fuck-ton of plums in the backyard. They are delish.
plums galore!

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Brave: Why I was super disappointed

Written by Minnie on June 25, 2012 Categories: Bechdel Test, bullshit

SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE!

Let’s be clear. I’m not critiquing Brave’s technical achievement or it’s entertainment value.

So. I was really really hoping this movie would have some female characters.Let’s count up, shall we? the mom, Merida, screaming boob joke lady, 2 screaming female servants, witch, and some screaming swooning lady fans in the festival scene. very, very disappointing. Let’s get real here. The clans get together for this big important event and didn’t bring their queens? their daughters? whyfor? Let’s just SHOW SOME FEMALES FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Have them doing anything, please, except screaming there was already plenty of that. There was a whole hall full of men being manly and comparing dick size where was the hall filled with women bemoaning this new generation of girls who want to control their own lives or something. FEMALES! WE HAS THEM.

The mother is portrayed as a nagging controlling fishwife stereotype. Do I need to elaborate why that is fucking stupid and annoying? Basically the whole movie and all this shit happens because MOMMY IS A BITCH and TEENAGE GIRLS ARE PETULANT.

The father doesn’t seem to even give a shit about the whole betrothal thing. in fact, it seems like the mom basically forced it to happen. so.. clearly there was not even an urgent need to secure peace in this way. so the male clan heads had some whiney dick fights and the only thing that can placate them is some FREE PUSSY? please. It doesn’t even make any sense in this case if she marries into one of the other clans that would just cause two clans to be allied. what about the others? In the throne room the clan heads talk about how they are ALREADY bonded from past experiences.

Technically this movie passed the Bechdel Test but only by a bare minimum and there are some problems. Merida and mom talk to each other about not a man and Merida and the witch talk to each other about not a man. BUT. They are mostly talking about how Merida is ALL WRONG the way she is and how she must always remember her gender. And she only seems o be all wrong to the mother, no one else seems to care what she does, it’s not like there is a kingdom full of ladies all acting prissy and bridling at her saucy tomboy behavior. No one bats an eye.

Also, how did she get to be such a great archer if she spent all her time being bullied by her mom into doing girly shit? She specifically says she only occasionally makes it out of the castle to ride and shoot.

This is NOT a movie about a girl having an adventure. This is a movie about a girl who is desperate and forced to do something underhanded and horrible just to have anyone bother to listen to her.

The mom saved Merida from the bear 3 times. Once as a little girl, once from the old throne room and again at the end of the movie. I guess Merida saves the mom from the ravening hoard of men driven by bloodlust that one time by locking them on the roof, oh wait, but actually it’s her little brothers do that. damn.

Where was the Braveness? So she’s Brave for daring to have a vagina and wanting to control her fate? and fate? really? She’s Brave for standing up to her mother? The moral of this story could just be something like: use nonviolent communication techniques when talking with your loved ones. AAAEEEEEIIIIIII That’s so boring!

Merida collapses crying in a heap 3-4 times. Many of her actions are driven by a very frantic and desperate fear. It’s brave to keep on looking for a solution even when you know you’ve royally fucked up and turned your mum into a bear and you are scared as shit, I suppose. However, this leaves me highly unsatisfied.

Up until the very last second she is still unsure, tears welling in her eyes, waiting to see if her SEWING (for realz, y’all) and COMPROMISE will be enough to undo the spell that caused her mom to become a fucking bear. Super brave. I know I can craft a halloween costume out of that one! whheeeeee!

I might think of more to say.

If you would like to comment with an actual comment that might forward this as a discussion feel free to. If you want to comment to bring up instances maybe where a man in a film cried or ‘but in real life men blahblahblah, too’ or you want me to justify my conclusions then DO NOT comment, if you do I will delete it. Instead, write your own rant or go read a Feminism 101 FAQ.

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Y’all, my sinuses are weird and horrible

Written by Minnie on June 15, 2012 Categories: about me, bullshit, cat

I’m day million of having a stuffy head. ears popping and weird chunks of grossness exiting my nose. I simply WILL NOT shut up about it. I did go to the doctor and they were like, “go buy some real sudafed, idiot.” Thanks guys! not.

So, it may be too early to state this definitely, but I think that the cat shit problem I wrote about here might be resolved. I swear it has been several days since the horrible stench of cat shit has filled our nearly 2200 sq ft home. I’m just really glad that we didn’t accidentally pick out the only 3 cats in the universe that smell worse than 20 dead skunks.

I have other stuff to blog about but also like a million small tasks that must get done and also really, I just want to fall over in bed and drift off on a fluffy cloud of sleep. Jack was RELENTLESS today. I mean, he didn’t sit still or stop talking at me pretty much all day. Finally I let him watch The Backyardiands or whatever is while I went and gardened. I gave some lemons and plums to the post office dude who cleans all the postal trucks everyday.

I watched the first episode of Walking Dead which I have heard people talking about but thought was some classic zombie movie. It isn’t, I see that now. It might be too scary for me to keep watching.

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Gotta call the babysitter, Tweetin’ on the elevator.

Written by Minnie on June 12, 2012 Categories: about me, parenting, WTF

Has anyone ever been on an elevator and suddenly Madonna gets on? I can’t picture it. Surely Madonna doesn’t ever need to use a lowly elevator. I more picture her being wafted where ever she desires on rainbow scented unicorn farts.

Speaking of scents… I want like every single one of these scents. Laundromat! Thunderstorm! Whiskey and Tobacco! Salt Air!

And speaking of Madonna, I love her new album. I fucking love Madonna and I don’t care that she is nutritionally deficient music.

I woke up this morning feeling glad I still felt like total shit.
See, I made a doctor appointment yesterday at 4:55 all desperate with pain and it would have sucked to have to go in later this afternoon and be all sheepishly, oh well YESTERDAY I was in super pain but now it feels sort of better.

I have a weird headache that I think might be a funky sinus infection. Yesterday I tried eating wasabi straight, had hot sauce on a zucchini fritter thing and piled cayenne pepper in my soup and it helped drain my sinuses a bit but not for long. I think I need antibiotics or possibly brain surgery.

I’ll have to bring a cat with me to my doc appointment. The cat’s name is Eats Rubber Bands (don’t ask, man. i have no idea) and it can walk on two back legs and put shoes on it’s paws. Oh never mind, Eats Rubber Bands went home only to be replaced with Jack who is now SCREAMING in his room. JOY.

He just came back outside snuffling and demanding that I apologize. AS IF. I told him I was sorry that he was sad but that I couldn’t have him whining and demanding things and that he needed to listen to me. BECAUSE I SAID SO. GOD!

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Derailed

Written by Minnie on June 4, 2012 Categories: about me, depression, rant

DSC05294 - Version 2

man, as I get older the more one tiny thing can totally derail me for like a month or two months or, seemingly, forever. For instance, earlier this month i was bloated and PMS-y for a week. Then, I was cranky, cramping and a fucking crime scene for another week. Then I got a cold and, refusing to let something like a stupid cold ruin my 3 day weekend camping trip, I went camping and spent 2 nights sleeping in a 40 degree tent and got home still sick. I ALMOST got better, I swear I thought i was on the mend but now two weeks later I am relapsing or something and i feel like shit. I am coughing, sneezing, achey and have copious snot. So, that’s a month right there of no exercise, swilling nutritionally deficient juice, eating candy bars out of sheer depression, boredom and bitterness at being so sick. And my face just horribly broke out. So please, rejoice that you are not me.

It’s raining today and that means I left the outdoor table uncovered last night and left my book, gardening gloves, tools and scarves all outside to get wet. Who the fuck knew it would rain? Jack is in school today and I think I might spend the day in bed. I probably should power through and clean and do… something… something productive to further my life goals or improve the happiness of my family. But. fuck that noise. I gonna get with Netflix today.

In other news Jack lost his second tooth. The tooth fairy and the great pack rat left him an ironman pez dispenser and a gold coin.

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Untitled

Written by Minnie on May 31, 2012 Categories: cat

cat and chickens

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I’ll take one of each, thanks.

Written by Minnie on May 14, 2012 Categories: about me

My new favorite word is ‘amazeballs’. I mean, I won’t ever say it out loud but I might think it. And if I see it in print I will totally laugh and it might give me a warm glow and a fleeting thought about the fantastic fluidity of language and if I hear some one say it out loud that person will be my fucking HERO.

AMAZEBALLS, Y’ALL. SRSLY.

So, my child has come up with the ultimate weapon – a gun that shoots knives. Totally brilliant, right? He likes to bust that one out as we walk to school holding hands in the sunshine with all our neighbors standing in front of their houses smiling at us. Smiles that are wiped clean once they realize they are being impaled by knives shot from a gun. anyway.

I wish i had a picture of my cell phone as it was two weeks ago. it was a sad sad thing. Not only was the screen cracked and actually shedding glass dust all over the place as it slowly crumbled into oblivion but the only app that worked on it was kindle, everything else including the camera caused the phone to crash. Why have an iPhone if it is going to suck so badly? My whimpering finally got so loud that Vim was forced to do something about it. He ordered a new screen from Apple for 4$ and then he told me something that would change my life forever.

You have to CLOSE YOUR APPS. Basically every app I ever opened on my phones WAS STILL OPEN. That’s at least two years worth of apps open. What the?!?!??!

After closing 62 apps my phone now runs perfectly including the camera. End of Story.

Did you know that there were 13 Pollyanna books? 13. how? what? I can’t even… whaaaaa?!?!?! I swear I thought there were only 3, the last one being Pollyanna and the Family Jewels. Can’t top that.

I might post some garden updates in a bit.
I’m outie.

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What to do about this ugly bookcase?

Written by Minnie on March 16, 2012 Categories: house, organizing

This is the view from the couch in our office/guest room. hideous. and you cant even see the table with a million boxes of books under it or the ugly plastic thing of drawers with art supplies. I must fix this!

I have trouble weeding out anything and books and fabric are the two things that I find it almost impossible to part with.

wtf.

I think I am going to move all the large books to the downstairs behemoth (which is a whole other problem) to make room for some of these books in boxes. Then what?

4 Comments

Out and about

Written by Minnie on March 10, 2012 Categories: about me, horticulture, local, oakland

bee and ceanothus
A Bumble Bee, Bombus vosnesenskii hanging out on a lovely Ceanothus plant.

I can’t seem to find a Salvia spathacea in any nursery around here for some reason. I still haven’t tried Bay Natives.
Salvia spathacea

Jack and I had some adventures this week and some fights too.
jack on a tire swing

I went to see my friend and her newborn today. omg. Baby was so adorable and tiny and smelled like a baby and had tiny eyelashes and shit. She slept on me. and she has a super cute name.

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Crazy Cat Lady

Written by Minnie on February 29, 2012 Categories: about me

This weekend I got cornered at a party by an honest to god Crazy Cat Lady. It was awesome. she was 60-something and like nattered for 30 MINUTES about her cats. Cats she owned in the past, her current cats, other peoples cats, cats she would like to have… We covered IT ALL. I felt right at home and gave her a blow by blow of every cat i have ever owned and how I felt about each one, all their ailments and good traits, how they died, the pet names i had for them. EVERYTHING. I felt closer to her than to I do to Vim. Oh, except that Vim and I have had this same conversation and his clear obsession with his cat is the reason I wanted to date him. But anyway. The Crazy Cat Lady was awesome and it would have been better if there hadn’t been all this loud music and drinking going on. I should have taken her out for coffee and whipped out my flickr stream of ALL CATS ALL THE TIME. She met her match I tell you.

In other news I cried and had a panic attack at my therapist appointment today.

In more other news today was my last day blogging for Craft Gossip. I was too flaky and NOT INDIE ENOUGH. I didn’t ask what the fuck that meant but I’m assuming it meant that I wasn’t COOL ENOUGH (see cat conversations mentioned above). At first I was sad to see the 200$ a month go but now I feel a sense of relief. SO FUCK CRAFTS AND THE CATS THEY RODE IN ON.

eyeballing you.

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And she was

Written by Minnie on February 21, 2012 Categories: about me, depression, parenting

Check it out! I have normal person hair! Although if you look at me too closely you will be able to tell the ends of my hair have a suspiciously blue tinge… I also got 2 pairs of new glasses.

2nd pair of new glasses

I have been letting jack watch too much TV lately. My ability to cope with him has been stretched thin. It’s mostly just a problem of introvert vs. extrovert. He wants to be talking and interacting with me and touching me ALL DAY. I just can’t. Just especially the last few months I’ve been having a terrible time, my brain is malfunctioning.

Aside from your standard variety of depression suddenly descending on me I’ve also been like, confused, or something. my brain is just very very foggy and jumbled and it gets worse if there is a lot of noise happening or too much going on.

He’s very loud and his particular sort of play is not my idea of fun at all. He does not quietly build worlds and then populate them with animals and think stories about them in his head. No. He must have two armies with many kings and queens and princesses all engaging in furious battle. He is one army and I have to be the other. I can sustain that for about 5 minutes before I start to internally freak out. Plus his story lines are totally not sophisticated. :P

muddy hands

I do get to nicely read to him. We did Norse myths and now we are doing Greek myths and also Little House in the Big Woods. We started Wind in the Willows but I was reading it from my phone and that kind of sucks so I decided to wait until I can find my actual book version. He will also play legos by himself fairly quietly for a decent amount of time. so yeah, he’s been watching stuff on Netflix while I cower in my room.

It helps if we are out of the house. With my slightly upped Wellbutrin my energy levels have improved, so that’s something. At least I can manage to get us out of the house. Today I am going to take him to see the tall ships that are in the Port of Oakland right now.

I’m still hoping to find my little green point and shoot camera. It HAS to be this house somewhere. FUCK! Until then I am going to start using Vim’s camera more.

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Fixing up Jack’s room

Written by Minnie on February 20, 2012 Categories: house, organizing, parenting, projects - in progress

Let’s be honest here. Our entire house is a disaster area and I’m completely helpless under the tide of crap. For every bag of crap I throw out or recycle 2 more bags of crap appear. There MUST be a way to keep things in order! I decided I would attempt to tame Jack’s things. Jack surpasses even me with his ability to spread his stuff all over the place and is suffering clearly from stuff not ‘having a specific place to live’. How can you clean up if things don’t have a spot?

Well, here is Jack’s room in a before picture:
before - jack's room

He had been sleeping in the nest of blankets on the floor every night for a week. There is a pointless huge table on the left that i just stuck in there because it had no where else to go. In this picture I had already gone to Ikea and bought and assembled one other Trofast set of shelves you can see on the left.

When I moved his original trofast there were all these little things that looked like grains of rice under it.I didn’t think too much of it, i thought maybe he had a toy with rice or… something… who knows. Only, later I was bending down and one of the grains of rice MOVED. omfg. MAGGOTS, I thought immediately. but HOW?!?!? WHAT? GROSS!@FUCK!

They were not maggots but were carpet moths. gross enough. It took two days to get rid of them with much vacuuming and dusting of diatomaceous earth and borax and much woe is me-ing about how gross it was.

His room has 4 low trofast shelves ad one stepped trofast. I meant the stepped trofast to be for his Legos but Vim scoffed at it as too small. So I will move that and fill it with more toys from downstairs and buy two large tall trofasts to be for legos. I also put in a small Ikea desk for him.

So we got that all cleaned up and the furniture built and then I weeded. I donated a box or so of his books and put some in a box to be gone through later, basically reducing his books by about 2 thirds. I changed the orientation of his bed to make it easier to make and clean around and even though that does reduce his play area a bit think it’s worth it. I weeded his stuffed animals and reduced them to two laundry baskets full and one box of them put away in the top of his closet. I weeded his toys donating some and putting some in boxes up in his closet to be gone through later.

One thing I did that has made a huge difference is to reduce his bedding by like 90%. Before he had a top sheet, a large blanket or two, a comforter or 2, a small quilt, and a million small blankets. WHY?!? I reduced it to a top sheet, his Little Blanket Soft Blanket, one large blanket and a comforter. The rest of the stuff I put in the linen closet and I hope he never sees them up there because he will insist on having it all back on his bed.

after - jack's room

I’m not done, obviously. I need to go get the large lego shelves and i need to frame some pictures and hang them up. I wants a full length mirror and some hooks to hang up his hoodies and superhero cape.

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my winter garden and getting ready for spring

Written by Minnie on  Categories: food, garden, horticulture, house, oakland, urban farm

Now that winter is apparently about to end I ought to blog about my winter veggie garden. Here it is:

winter veggies

You can see the bok choy there has bolted. The cauliflower plants got eaten by something, possibly a chicken. The celery is to the left of the bok choy and it turned out quite good, a little salty and spicy and much nicer than grocery store celery. I’m surprised because i didn’t water it much and it barely rained this winter. The giant red mustard greens grew nicely but I didn’t eat much of it.

We did hit on a good place for the winter veggies by putting that container where it is. It gets good winter sun in the early morning and then in the afternoon and evening.

Today Vim put in some carrots where the book choy was. We have a ton of seeds sprouting in our sunny front mud room. I’ll probably fill this container with lettuce and spinach. Actually I think we have too many plants. I have no idea where they will all go. Like, where will the zucchinis fit this year? Where they were last year there is now shallots and onions and a container with kale. shit.

I bought a ton of annual and perennial flowers today. omg. i am so excited about all of them!
Here’s a list of most of them.

Nemophila menziesii
“Baby Blue Eyes”

Layia platyglossa
“Tidy Tips”

Erigeron glaucus ‘Wayne Roderick’
Platystemon californicus
“Cream Cups”

Ribes sanguineum glutinosum
“Pink Flowering Currant”

Primula polyantha
‘Victoriana Silver Laced Black’

Nicotiana alata ‘Lime Green’
Eriogonum crocatum
“Saffron Buckwheat”

Oenothera caespitosa
“Tufted Evening Primrose”

Helenium puberulum
Linum lewisii
“Blue Flax”

Mostly they are natives. the primula polyanthus is not native but was so neat looking I bought it anyway. The non native Nicotiana alata has chartreuse flowers. neat!
unfortunatly I havent ben able to find a Salvia spathacea. I did get another Salvia clevelandii and another coyote mint. i think our garden is going to be uber fluffy and colorful this spring and summer!

And I bought Vim a bunch of fancy poppies.

There’s no room I tell you.

My meadow is put off again until this Fall. Basically we have spent the last year doing cover crops but now we are leveling that area and taking away all the nice new soil we created and putting it elsewhere. Once we have the area level we will do a couple more cover crops. This gives me time to grow all the native grass starts since I don’t have like 1 million dollars it would cost to buy them as plugs. I still cant decide what grasses to use for the meadow though. Carex pansa? Festuca rubra? a Deschampsia? ugh! i am gong to prowls the local native nurseries to see if i can find a seed mix or even sod or plugs i can afford.

I need to go check out Larner Seeds.
and Bay Natives. oh huh, i see they have a native fescu mix sod available… 3.00 a sq foot.

oh also, Vim found like a million weird ass CA salamanders all over our yard lurking under stuff. They looks so wormy and moist! Those arms look like pointless T-Rex arms. If that salamander eats a just a little bit more it wont be able to move.

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Cat shit

Written by Minnie on February 8, 2012 Categories: rant

Yeah, you heard me. Cat shit. It’s, like, taking over my life. I can’t believe we let these horrible dirty creatures roam our houses at will. I let them sleep on my pillow for christ sake. They secretly drink out of my water glass. And every night at 9:30 they take huge shit that smells up the entire upstairs. They also take a huge shit any time you decide to take a shower downstairs or right before anyone comes over.

I need 3 cat bung hole plugs STAT. And the world’s top scientists to figure out how to genetically engineer assholeless cats.

WHAT.THE.FUCK
cats are not allowed on the table

VILE OFFENDER
cat mustache

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH WORLD
cat tail mohawk

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How to tell if your chickens are roosters

Written by Minnie on February 6, 2012 Categories: about me, urban farm Tags: ,

I feel like I just went through a right of passage for backyard urban chicken owners. If only one of two of the new chickens had been roosters It would have been very clear that something was not right earlier but because they were ALL ROOSTERS we had no chicken of the same age to compare them to.

The first thing I noticed was that their behavior was more aggressive. We got them at 3 months old and already they were fighting in the beak to beak style. They stick out their neck and make their neck feathers stand up like an open umbrella. Here is a picture of two mature roosters doing it:

It’s very obvious that those are males since they are full grown but i couldn’t find a pic of juvenile roosters doing it. When I saw them doing this I didn’t remember our other hens doing it but thought it was kind of cute and didn’t realize it was a male chicken behavior.

Their feather patterns can tell you a lot as they get older. Roosters have pointier neck feathers. Hens have neck feathers that have more rounded tips.

Saddle feathers – as roosters get older they begin to have more defined saddle feathers. in the picture above those adult roosters have really well defined saddle feathers, the feathers on their backs right before the tail starts, you can see how they sort of drape over the back like a saddle.

Here’s a pic of our three rooster at about 3 months. as you can see the saddle feathers are not particularly defined:
flower and dizzy

As roosters get older their tail feathers also change. in the above pic you see Flowers (the black one) just has a regular looking tail at 3 months but by 4 and a half months the tail started to change and had some longer feathers at the top that sort of looked separate and drooped over and down.

Another thing to look at is the base of the comb. Hens will have a more delicate and narrow comb base. Here’s a pic of all three roosters (kinda blurry) at 3 months old. Their combs are still pretty small.
all three

I don’t have much to say about this except that combs vary quite a bit from breed to breed. If you’ve got two of the same breed and one has a wider comb base and is exhibiting some other signs then you might have a rooster.

One thing I remember from our hens when they were young is that around about 5 months old they started submitting if you hovered your hand over them. It’s a hen mating behavior. Their chest goes towards the ground and tail and haunches go up. Take the opportunity to rough them up a bit between the shoulder blades. :D

The most obvious sign of a rooster is the crowing. Only Eggy was crowing in the morning at 5 months old. He did the typical chest up and out, wings flapping and a nice loud oodle oodle oooooo! The day before we took them back to the farm Dizzy busted out with a pretty pathetic crow attempt.

When we got to the farm Dizzy was the only one that wasn’t obvious just by looking at it and he got to have a very undignified and intrusive upside down investigation. “Yep! No eggs in this pipe!” the dude declared.

There you have it! My first chicken sexing experience! Now we have three new hens a Delaware, a Black Star sex link, and a Barred Rock. All of them have brown eggs so I am a tiny bit disappointed about that but there will be other chickens eventually. They are all in-between 3-4 months old so we will have ot wait a bit for eggs from them.

Now we are all fighting about names for them. Jack wants to name them White-Black, Butterfly, and One of Three.

I want the black one to be named Xena and Vim wants the Barred Rock to be Mimi and the black one to be Homestar Chicken. These new chickens are already coming over to eat out of my hand and will allow themselves to be cuddled.

However, Mimi is sneezing and has some nasal discharge. GODDAMMIT.

What have I learned here? I think next time we will order baby chicks from a hatchery. Maybe all these will go in the pot in a year.

UPDATE:
I found a picture Vim took of them fighting. So this is an easter egger and an australorp fighting at about 4-5 months old.
_DSC4548
hhshahahah it’s just so totally obvious now that I know even the tiniest thing about it.

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I have nursed a viper in my bosom.

Written by Minnie on February 3, 2012 Categories: about me, depression

All our new chickens are fucking roosters. One is sticking his chest out and full on crowing. The other two continue to bicker and stick their neck ruffs out at each other like little lions. holy fuck. i have been feeding these little fuckers for like 2 months and i demand EGGS in return.

They are going back to the farm tomorrow. dammit. They were so cute too.

In other news I am having a nervous breakdown (i just accidentally typed beakdown…) that includes panic attacks while ordering coffee, excessive watching of Star Trek episodes, over eating of chocolate, and extreme irritability and self loathing. It’s really fucking awesome and fun.

I am attempting a new Pdoc and he is upping my wellbutrin intake. embarrassingly I thought wellbutrin was an SSRI and apparently it isn’t. wtf to i know, anyway? Later we will add in some prozac maybe. I just fell into the rabbit hole of reading about drugs online. I do not recommend this activity as the lists of side effects will instantly make even a healthy person have a panic attack.

Things are annoying me. Like all the douchey things people started saying when the Komen Foundation pulled money to planned parenthood. It was immediately assumed by everyone that it was a politically motivated pro-choice/anti-abortion move. and the douchey anti-abortion people felt all righteously vindicated like “fuck those poor underserved women and their constant abortions and birth control seeking behaviors, let ‘em get breast cancer too. they deserve it”. accept that it was couched much more nicely since surely no one would actually think or say that out loud. Some people started trotting out shit like CDC. HA really? give me a break. I can’t even bring myself to get into how utterly wrong it is to compare the two services. anyway, HUGE EYEROLL.

I’m just trying to think of a situation in which I would feel good about limiting crucial heath care to someone because of how i feel about some other thing. I can’t think of anything. although feel free to suggest things.

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Things I am liking right now.

Written by Minnie on January 13, 2012 Categories: about me, projects - in progress

my new BLue Canoe bra’s and yoga top. Lately my cycle has include like 2 weeks of swollen and VERY tender breasts. It’s so ouchy and uncomfortable and my usual bras become uncomfortably tight. For the 2 seconds that I was nursing I had these great Blue Canoe bra’s. They have a really wide underband and are soft with wide shoulder straps, no padding or underwire or scratchy closures or ANYTHING. I ordered a couple of new ones since my old ones don’t fit and are all ratty. I’m trying out a new style, the Jen’s bra, that rocks and the yoga bra is great too. Since I didn’t really care about the color I just went and bought the ones they had left on the sale page. yay sale page!

My new book Designing California Native Gardens: The Plant Community Approach to Artful, Ecological Gardens. The plant community approach makes a lot of sense when designing a garden. My class last semester was very much about this idea. I finally ended up deciding to take the Spring version of that class this semester and i also signed up for a ground cover class that may get dropped for low enrollment, although i hope it doesn’t.

Futzing in the garden and chicken herding. The weather has been really, really nice, perfect gardening weather so I have been out in the backyard everyday working on the embankment slide. It involves a lot of digging. And that involves a lot of jack waving the hose around and making rivers and oceans in the trenches I am digging. today, I made him a perfect round little island to sit on.

We are trying to integrate the two chicken flocks. the big ones are NOT happy about it and they cluck threateningly and fluff themselves up very big and then rush the little ones. Last night we snuck the little ones into the big coop. Tonight i put the littles to bed in their old coop but we will switch them in the dead of night again. It’s a great excuse to pet them since the littles are not friendly enough with us yet to cuddle them normally. Yes, they are outrageously soft and adorable.

Sketching and researching natural playscapes. I’m sketching (very roughly) ideas for a natural playscape for a park in east oakland and it is super fun to come up with ideas and figure out where they would work in the space. I’ll probably do some more posts about this and my progress with the playscape in my own backyard.

embankment slide in progress:
installing an embankment slide

Phineas and Ferb. Jack has been watching this show recently since it is on netflicks streaming. He really likes it and I don’t mind watching it either. I like Perry the platypus.

Pintrest. Pintrest continues to be great. I do wish it had some kind of collage tool. here’s a link to my playscapes board.

my By Nieves bath products. They smell sooooo good! the perfect skin serum is my favorite.

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All resolutions all the time

Written by Minnie on January 4, 2012 Categories: about me, project - ideas, projects - in progress, resolutions Tags: , ,

Is it too late to be still thinking of resolutions? I can’t help it here are the ones I have come up with.

next year i swear I wont let our christmas tree be so sad. even if it means spending a stupid amount of money on ornaments. matching lights that work. tree skirt. some kind of matching ball ornaments. damnit. MOAR bird ornaments. more cute kid made ornaments.

Learn how to mix my own drinks.

after like 3 weeks of everyone being on vacation, AKA at home all the time, i am about to fucking scream every time i see the kitchen in a not clean state. I swear I will try to clean the kitchen every night before bed and run the dishwasher and then empty the damn dishwasher in the morning. that way dishes wont pile up during the day and there will be no excuse for a messy kitchen. jack goes to bed, then kitchen gets cleaned then i can collapse into bed and/or make myself a drink.

play more board games with jack.

shit. i had another one but now i can’t remember it. oh yeah, GET THERAPY.

also, go to ocean beach/sutro baths more!
ahhhh relaxing!

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