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Drink more water.
Kitchen Epiphany
I have all this barely contained rage lately. Every time I look at my kitchen, or my bathroom, or my craft room or the living room. My gut tightens up and heaves a little bit. I SO AGGRAVATED. Everything is messy. We have too much stuff. There are crackers on the floor and 4700 tiny socks and cat barf and old mail and tools and CRAP. OHMYFUCKINGGOD could someone please fucking get rid of all this shit? I want to go live in totally empty room somewhere in the middle of nowhere.If it can be hermetically sealed so much the better.
I keep trying to remind my brain that we are doing the best we can at the moment. That messy doesn’t matter that much. That it will get better. That I am making small progress everyday.
But it’s NOT working! I am still enraged.I feel like I can’t keep up. I can’t get rid of shit fast enough. I can’t organize the shit we do have.I’ve been fretting about this for like a year now. I started slowly doing crap reduction on the theory that once I have less crap it will be easier to get organized… This is clearly not working out for me and it’s time to change tactics.
This morning as I emptied the dishwasher I realized that the way our kitchen shelves is set is is fucking stupid and makes no sense and that it contributes to our never ending kitchen chaos. Basically, when I open the dishwasher to put the dishes away I CAN NOT reach where they go. Pretty obviously a problem, eh?
I mean, I understand the principles of organizing, at least, I think I do…
Have all the items you use most often in accessible positions that work this the flow of your daily activities. Er… okay that’s the only thing I can think of. What am I missing?
My friend G. has said she will help me reorganize, possibly this Monday. I am going to take some before pictures detailing the stupidity and then I will take after pictures showing improvements! I’m excited. And scared.
Calling all Whores (of bath)
Badger and I have started a new blog called Whores of Bath. Yee Haw!
It’s a beauty product blog! We love baths! Hot steamy naked smelly luscious baths!
Mostly we just wanted to try out product placement blog to see if we could make a bit o’ cash. And since we LOVE BATHS so much and are total bath product whores and blog whores extraordinaire we started Whores of Bath.
Go check it out! Badger writes a post about the suave Iron Man and I am wanting to whore it up with Lindsey Lohan naked!
Give us some comment love!
Caulk! all the time! live nude caulk!
GE is teaming up with Blogher to promote their new product GE Caulk singles.
And, lo! Let the blogosphere caulk jokes begin!
You can find my completed project and write up over on one of my random never used other blogs!
Bathroom remodel gone horrible wrong.
I feel like our bathroom remodel went horribly wrong. We have less storage than we did and it’s like… fucking shabby chic/country kitchen in there. wtf?
Vim did an excellent job on the paint. I like it.
Somewhere along the way I started to get in a snit about spending money on cabinets, so instead of going and buying the shit at ikea that we were going to get we started cruising salvage yards. I like the cabinet we got… but… see above about country kitchen and less storage space.
So what to do? Clearly the only option is to throw money at it. Which is what we should have done in the first place because neither of us is going to design and build actual cabinets or shelves ourselves.
I’m thinking, remove the outrageously bright shower curtain and put up Vim’s old plain one. get cute flowery bathmat from anthropologie and a small white crappy floor cabinet from Target.
I see no other option and am going to do it.
Vim may take up quilting for the hot chicks
Does anyone else get the Hancock’s or Paducah catalog in the mail? OMG. They have HIGHLY AMUSING cotton quilting fabrics. Vim was just hooting and exclaiming over them.
These are too much aren’t they?
Why did I get these? Many things seem like a good idea but then.. aren’t. I mean, I still kind of like them. but they are clearly WAY TOO over the top.
go ahead. tell me I suck.
Awash in girliness
When I was in Houston my mom gave me a purse that is now my favorite purse even tho it HAS A BELT. why the fucking purse belt? does it have ass cheeks in danger of suddenly hanging out?! I plan on unstitching that belt and then reveling in the soft buttery redness of that leather.
It’s already summer here. I HATE being hot. Unfortunately I am sweaty and hot when t is like 70 degrees out. GREAT! Fortunately I have pantaloons to make things better.
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I have not done much crafting lately because I have been reading ROMANCE NOVELS. That’s right. Romance novels. 12 of them to be exact, 6 in each series. Here is the last one I finished yesterday:
People are getting married and having babies all over the place and I find that I want to hang around discussing babies and wedding dresses and shopping. I blame these dumb books. Really, after reading these all things girly should be making want to HURL.
I have GOT TO STOP reading stupid books. I might as well be watching Blossom reruns.
In more crafty news I just got this in the mail a few days ago. Lovely! What a surprise as I orderd this like 3 months ago but it was back ordered!
I LOVE Alexander Henry fabrics. What shall I do with this? I was thinking when I bought it that I would make myself some nice pillow cases. How nice would it be to go to sleep and wake up with these sweet birds under your head? With your head CRUSHING these sweet little birds. How could you?!
An apron might be nice too.
And with that I shall leave you with Miss Piggy singing Peaches ‘fuck the pain away’.
Crafty friends make the world go ’round
My friend D. just launched her new website for her children’s clothes and other products.
Here is the URL: http://www.whimsicalwalney.com
I really like her little spanish ringer onesies are super cute and I love the Sol Protector (spf protection and wind breaker material!) blankets that attach to your stroller. Cute and handy!
Oh and the fabric books are really cute as well, I’m smitten with the newborn black and white ones.
The books and clothes would make good baby shower gifts and I think the sun protector stroller thing is just a good idea if you do long walks or hikes and plus, your baby won’t ever grow out of that and you will need it for your kids entire strollering career.
Generally I’m always just impressed when someone I know has their shit together enough to DO SOMETHING. In this case, start a cute clothing line because she has a baby, likes to sew and well, has her shit together.
Badger and I were just discussing this phenomenon in our friend Zombiegrrl. She started a pet watching business! I was her employee for a while too! Impressive! Zombiegrrl is about to have her own baby… will she start a baby blanket/diaper bag making operation?!?! Stay tuned!
Anyway, this behavior is very far away from my own ‘have a million ideas yet never do much with them’ mode of operation.
On that note I am about to go test MY new idea. If it works I will tell you about it. 
Take lots of pictures, make lots of plans!
Every once in a while i stop by the superhero journal to see how she is doing. Andrea makes lovely jewelry that she sells here, takes great pictures, seems very sweet and smart and has a super duper cute-ass little baby. Two of the posts on her front page really fit in with lots of things I am thinking about right now.
The first is where she talks about doing a media cleanse. I’ve been thinking about doing this same thing. Try out a week with nothing but the bare minimum of internet/talk radio/dvd/tv usage. We don’t have a TV so we don’t have the whole TV dominating the room problem. I remember when I first came over to Vim’s house I was impressed by this lack of TV and then I realized that he instead had a massive roll down projection system. Hhahah. Still it’s not a TV one can like, accidentally watch Oprah on and once you’ve gotten to watch your DVDs on a big projection system while sitting on your own couch you will never go back…
So, I am actually a bit scared to to a full on media cleanse. A news fast, yes, I’ve done and survived that before. But no blogs for a whole week!!? I might try it the week I am back from my parents house. There is no debating that I would get more done, sketching or sewing would be a good option.
Last week on NPR I was listening to an interview with a woman who was maybe writing books on different religions, I turned it on in the middle of the interview. She had met the dali lama and one thing he said to her was that he often urged people from western cultures NOT to take up Buddhism but to find things from their own culture that make sense to them.
I admit to be woefully ignorant about religion and certainly I know nothing about Buddhism. But in my head I often equate Buddhism with “living in the now”. And I’ve been thinking about”living in the now” lately. Partly I think because I have been violently letting go of the past while I throw away most of the trappings of it, keeping only the tiny reminders that I need to help me remember. A few pictures, a few letters, a few drawings, a matchbook here and there. So I can’t let go of the past completely. It’s true tho, while looking through things I felt a bit useless as tho the past was a waste. Even so, I like the past, even the crappy stupid parts of it where I was a total idiot.
I thought that was really interesting and that fits with this passage from Superhero’s post:
“One was a story that Elizabeth Gilbert paraphrased from a book she had read recently. The question posed was about living in the now and this writer responded that living in the now is overrated and unless you’re a yogi or a monk, pretty much impossible for us regular folk. He said that possibly, the key to a happy life is about having great memories to look back on and great things to look forward to. So take lots of pictures and make lots of plans!”
“Take lots of picture, make lots of plans” really puts into words exactly what I strive to do. To me, making pleasant memories and documenting them to look over later and making plans is the ideal way of life. Vim and I look at our photos together all the time and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Here’s a cute picture of Vim and Jack from this weekend. Never mind that I was being a huge ass and was all stressed and pissy… Aren’t they cute?!
Right now, in this moment, I am grateful for all the exciting plans coming up this summer. Hawaii! Maker Faire! Sitting on the porch! Mini adventures! Baby that can walk! Possibly camping! In the desert!
Pictures to follow.
What do you think? Too wrong?
I put this “I’d rather be riding a unicorn” sticker over my “I heart new wave” sticker on my car.
What do you think? Too wrong? Too racy?
I mean come on! Get your mind out of the gutter!
I’d rather be riding on a unicorns back… it’s mane and my hair mingling in the breeze, my diaphanous gown trailing behind us, my too tight corset will be woven from the dreams of butterflys, I’ll gently roll my silver spurs over the unicorn’s soft flesh, will I use the silver riding whip on it? Oh the anticipation!
Wait a second.
Mind.get.out.of.gutter.
Baby disapproves of this message
Went out with baby and mamapajama today. It was a bit gray but still bright enough be annoyingly squinty.
Here is how my day started, with a very disapproving baby, a truck and a camera phone.
As you can see here he is squinty:
I have nothing against squinty but I do have something against a baby that dashes outside to the porch where there are plywood pieces and paint flecks all over the place and sharp things.
I have decided to learn how to use our Canon Digital Rebel D300. It’s a mystery right now with too many buttons and click throughs and menus and doodads.
There was a VERY odd and VERY phallic metal thingy on the ground in front of the old Oakland train station.
We jaunted around looking for a way to get close to the at-at cargo ship unloaders. I love those things, they are so HUGE.
This is not a good picture but it demonstrates that I have learn that the AV setting lets me adjust the aperture and thusly the depth of field. I t really is just like a regular old 35mm SLR! Just more digitamable.
Here you can see that the fringe of the BOB stroller is crisp and clear while Jack is fuzzy and the AT-ATs are fuzzy. Also, Jack kinda looks like an old man in this picture AND his foot is sticking up all weird. Just be glad I didn’t include his diaper toe in the picture…
Having a baby with you really impedes your breaking and entering comfort level. Babys can’t run very fast and are prone to screaming during moments of tension and suspense. Next time - less baby, more fence hopping.
I need to get comfortable with the Manual setting, the Tv setting, bracketing and whatever else there is to know about it. This is Vim’s camera so I never bothered to learn it but it’s a good camera and I want to take good pictures!
50 pounds of baggage GONE!
I hung out with baby all yesterday and he helped me not give a crap about all my old school papers.
WHY do we carry that shit around with us for so long? Out of all my school sketch books I only ripped out like 20 pages worth keeping and even those were questionable. Written papers? HAHA. I only had to do like 2 the entire time I was in school and they sounded like they were written by a fucking 2nd grader. A not very smart 2nd grader at that.
Okay, I twinged slightly at all my intricate and detailed photography chemical notes and all the glazing compounds for pottery and the endless typography history and notes.. and the art history notes. Oh… did I know this stuff at some point in my life? Well, I don’t now so fuck it.
While it felt like a great relief to get rid of this stuff (including all my mechanical drafting stuff from HIGH SCHOOL) it was also a struggle to not feel like a total loser since I barely remember anything about anything. And it isn’t pregnancy or motherhoods fault either. I’m simply lazy. and never ever applied myself.
I threw out 47 tons of old photographs of me naked and wearing wigs…. (why god?!)
Next I will tackle my huge portfolios filled with shitty charcoal drawings.
Now that all the proof that I once knew something has disappeared… now what? Do I have to amass more proof only to throw it away in 5, 10, 15 years? This is depressing, I tell you.
This frenzy has been brought on by feeling cluttered and trapped. We have so much STUFF (and I’ve complained about it before) and I don’t want all the clutter to be my fault and due to some lame pointless sense of hanging on to the past. So I am being brutal. The more crap in the house to harder it is to keep Jack out of trouble. I want him to be able to roam free like the fuzzy little house buffalo crumb nibbler he is.
Every room is a problem. The bathroom is painted and the new cabinet is almost ready to be put up and that is a good start for that area. Everwhere else feels sort of hopeless. I’ve been weeding books. Weeding books is very hard as I have to pick up each book, remember where it came from, when I read it, blah blah blah. Dishes are bing removed. general crap is going on 3 month probation. 39 pieces of luggage are getting tossed.
project list:
- giant free floating window frame needs ot be taped, sanded, primered, painted and hung up.
- The snack box cat litter tray MUST happen. The IkeaHacker site is a good one and I recommend it. They have a great post about hiding your cat litter box in plain site.
So here is my big dilemma. Here I am, carting shit out of here by the truckload. And all the while I have this HUGE urge to go buy some stuff to help me organize. The ikea snack boxes for one. more stuff, another project. It’s like I hate myself and want myself to never relax. I also want this other thing frpom Ikea that will help keep stuff hidden from jack. that’s important, right?
A summer staple: Pantaloons!
Summer fast aproacheth.
I foresee several factors to my summer this year. One, I have an almost toddler, two, I get hot when it’s like 65 degrees out and finally, I only have two pairs of pants that fit me but about a million skirts and dress that do. You can imagine that if only points two and three were relevant than all would be well but when you add in the toddler unit the shit hits the fan. I mean, you can’t very well be all grubbing around on the floor and running around picking your kid up off the playground floor while in a skirt. It wouldn’t be seemly.
Last year I attempted to buy some split slips. Split slips are the boom. They keep your thighs from chaffing, they keep you cool, they allow you to grub around on the floor in a slightly more seemly fashion than without them. After an extensive search engine search I finally ordered some super cheap split slips from amazon. They were not perfect. They were so high waisted as to come up to my armpits an they were made out of that suspicious slippery material. nylon or some such. the lace along the bottom was scratchy. I wore them anyway and they were okay but my hear longed for something better.
This year I ordered 18 assloads of black cotton lawn from fabric.com. Lawn is a lovely thin and cool fabric that I mostly associate with the floaty frocks of yesteryear.
I cut up one of the weird slips from amazon to use as a template although this was not a necessary step as really they are just a pair of voluminous boxer shorts. My goals was to make my new slip waist hit below my belly button and the length be a few inches above my knees. Easily accomplished!
After cutting out my fabric I sewed the leg hole together and then put one leg inside the other right sides facing to sew up the crotch. for the elastic I used some of my huge roll that I scored at urban ore a while back. Around each leg I sewed two rows of black cotton eyelet lace.
Ta Da! I will now be cool this summer and won’t flash the other moms at the playground.
“ehn!”, she said attempting to lift a blade of grass
I keep forgetting to write about my workout attempts. I complete the 6 weeks of morning boot camp. After which I noticed no appreciable changes except that the workouts weren’t totally killing me anymore and that was enough for me to start with. I can dash up several flights of stairs with no problem and can haul around a 20 pound baby with out too much of a struggle.
I debated taking the class again but ultimately decided that I might was well go it alone for a bit to see what happened.
So I resurrected my love affair with stumptuous.com. I found this womans site like 3 years ago and loved it but then forgot about it. So when I was thinking about making up a new workout routine for myself I went straight there.
Weight lifting is really the only sort of organized exercising I can get behind. I first tried it in about 1999 right when I moved into my own apartment in SM after a crappy breakup. My only goals were to drink as much wine as possible and go to the gym and maybe occasionally go to class. I started with 24 hour fitness “body pump” classes which I loved and have since disappeared to be replaced with shittier versions. Anyway, weightlifting… It isn’t boring endless cardio and you see results quickly if you increase your weights right. I’ve been doing a full body routine between 1-3 times a week interspersed with interval training. I should be doing it 3 times a week without fail. but.. well.. you know.. stuff happens.
It has been about 5 weeks and can see how my muscles are changing. Mostly in the legs and I’ve gone down a pants size. so… actually that mean I am now out of my pregnancy pants. which is great and all but now i have like 2 pairs of pants that fit me. all my other clothes are still too small.
I think Vim is secretly wanting to get in on the “EHN!” action because he wenbt on craigslist and bought a weight bench. We now have a weight bench in our bedroom. Which is a whole otehr post coming soon…
Some things I am loving right now
If this seat slice wasn’t over 200 bucks I would totally buy it for Jack. As it is… I will jsut cut down a fucking tree and let him sit on that. I recall that I may have met the people who started this web site/store at a wedding a few years ago.
This felt fox scarf is pretty cool but again.. too expensive. Also, my dream felt fox scarf would be 3D feltidermy.
This squirrel crochet pattern. I don’t crochet but if I did I would totally make this.
This book review by smart bitches trashy books . go ahead. read it. I dare you.
Maybe I’m just not that in to you.
This might be blasphemy coming form an avid crafter… but I’m just not that in to Craftster. I kind of don’t get it. Maybe I’m too old? Doing it wrong?
I’m not averse to going back in there and poking around. It might be that I hate forums. I hate sorting through peoples responses. I wonder what other sort of socail media type sites would work. What about a twitter for crafters or twitter could have “channels”.
Does anyone use craftster? How do you use it? What other crafting social media type sites do you use? Er… are there any other ones? I can’ t think of any right now. Threadbanger counts I guess, for fashionistas. Actually, I love Threadbanger anddon’t go over there enough. I need ot add to my blogroll.
I love hearing about and seeing other people crafty goodness, ideas and techniques and creative flights of fancy but rarely get to actually connect with other crafters. This is one reason I am going to do more needlepoint as it is more social and portable (and isn’t knitting). Maybe I’ll go look forthe church of craft people that I think meet in oakland.
Eggs and Toast
He makes his excited face in this video and I like how at one point I mutter “eggs and toast” under my breath. Just be thankful that I didn’t post the clip where I am singing my breakfast song. It goes like this: Eggs and Toast! Eggs and Toast! It’s the breakfast! We love the most! Repeat until spouse shoots you dirty looks or joins in.
I’m not sure he actually ingested any of that but at least he had a good time.
BEHOLD!! My Youth!
Check it.
These are my madonna gloves from whenever. 4rd grade or something.
I had two pairs, one were just lacy and these fluffy ones were def my favorite.
If only I could find my red and black bubble skirt I would be all set to be fashionable again.
searching for rhyme and/or reason in the grocery store
I just went grocery shopping hungry. Always a shifty sort of thing to do as it could go well or it could end up in a free for all in which you get home with 40 pounds of meat and some peanut butter.
Usually I want to go to the new whole fuds near my house. The grocery list is carefully crafted to that stores layout in the hopes that nothing will be forgotten. Vim always wants to go to Berkeley Bowl and I’m often not up for the chaos and parking pain in the ass that that involves. However, today I decided to go to BB right after I dropped the kiddo off at around 9:30. I figured the hippie scrum couldn’t possibly have already begun that early (Wrong!).
I had a list. The list was created while hungry a few days ago and whilst sitting in front of a cookbook. I had plans. Vim had plans. But what in the hell were they?! I have no idea which recipes we were talking about but I bought a leek and some pumpkin seeds that are supposed to go into something or other…
I’ve always wondered why avocados are always billed as “haas” avocados because I have never seen an avocado billed as anything else so I wondered if there were some other kind. And is Haas a type? a brand name? what’s the deal? The other day Vim brought home and avocado that looked quite different as it had a smooth lighter green skin, it was weird and stringy inside and Jack did not like it.
Here is an excellent link with information about types of avocados. The one Vim got must have been a Bacon variety. Needless to say, this avocado was not as delicious as bacon. Oh hey! There is a variety called the “Zutano” like the kids clothes! This must be where they got the name for that brand. They have some darn cute baby clothes thats for sure. I just got Jack a few cute pieces at the baby resale shop. I’m surprised they don’t have a baby jumper with avocados all over it (okay, not really).
Now that the mysteries of the mysterious and wily avocado have been cleared up for me I think that I can go ahead and relax for the rest of today.
best computer bag ever
clutching to my bosom
Originally uploaded by not halfway there
I love this bag. It’s an OXIO computer bag and it has enough pockets to satisfy my soul 6 ways to ednesday. Also, it is orange. I’ve been buying everything in orange lately. Bright obnoxious orange.
I though at first it was because I was buying orange things for Jack as a gender neutral sort of color so as to not have everything be BLUE. Not that blue is a bad color. I love blue and blue looks good on Jack with his cute little blue eyes.
No, I think there is just something about orange right now. It’s bold and bright and obnoxious and retro.Dare I say… Orange is the new Black?
This inside has a spot for the computer (added and velcro closure), a zippered side pocket, places for pens, 4 open top pockets and spots for credit or business cards, the outside fron has a zippered pouch with some depth (but not so much as to make it too bulky) and the back has a flat zippered pocket.
I love to have everything I need with me but I hate to have too much unorganized stuff. This bag has a spot for everything while not encouraging stuff bloat. It helps keep me organized and has room for a small number of personal items. I DO NOT want to carry a computer bag AND a purse.
Now… if I could only find a diaper bag/computer bag/ purse that wasn’t too big. Maybe such a thing exists in another dimension. One in which I could magic myself a bottomless bag like Hermione has. 