The dreaded sandy crotch problem
The word crotch is right up there with the word moist for annoyingness. Vim likes to annoy me by mispronouncing it “cratch”. I find it unfunny, although I do find it funny to pretend you don’t know how to pronounce words like quesadilla.
The sandy crotch problem is better in adulthood than it was as a kid. I remember my bathing suits had like a special sand collecting pouch in the crotch for some reason. Do kids bathing suits still have that? or did someone up there realize how annoying it is? None of my adult suits have that. I swear as a kid I could carry a cup full of wet sand around in my crotch all day, sometimes seaweed too. Now I am all out there in the clear blue tropical waters trying to empty out my sandy crotch while all the snorkelers watch. Fun!
Several people have posted lately about bathing suits and feeling fat or judged or not perfect or whatever. I hear you sisters! Our first day here I looked around and realized that I was the fattest woman on the beach not fully clothed. Everyone more than 5 pounds “over weight” was fully clothed in black.
I am still carrying quite a few pounds of not muscle and I am self conscious about it. But NO WAY and I going to let that interfere with my enjoyment of the beach and fully clothed is no way to enjoy the beach unless it is nighttime and cold out. So fuck that noise. SO WHAT if I’m a bit plumper than I used to be?! Who in the hell is looking?!
A. no one who looks at me cares.
B. probably no one is looking at me anyway.
C. I don’t give a shit if people look at me or not.
D. I don’t care what crosses their mind if they do happen to look at me.
E. I look at people all the time and yet am not making a judgment about whether they look good or not. Or maybe I am. WHO CARES?!
I have to say that I love all the cute bikinis that women are wearing these days. They’re so fun! all polka dotty or rainbow colorful. Sometimes the bottoms get a bit too too small for my tastes tho. Men I don’t much look at as they tend to be boring. Vim just got an outrageously cute suit with birds all over it and his other two suits were bought sometime in the mid 80′s and don’t bear talking about. I have several suit combinations with me and will take a few pics to join in with the truthiness in bathing suit project of Suzanne’s over at Blogher.
Here are the pieces I have:
black bikini bottom with tie sides, black bottoms with skirt, board shorts in camo and hot pink, cute as fuck 3/4 sleeve back roxy board shirt, black and rainbow polka dot bikini top, black and silver dot top, plain black top, black top with paul frank skulls, and my bathing dress.
Okay and that’s just what I have with me… I have like 80 million other suit parts at home. I do like cute suit even if I have to stuff myself into it.
I’m a big fan of the swimsuit dress and the board shorts.
Check out these cute shorts, they are good because they have a bathing suit bottom built in. My current board shorts do not so I tend to wear bottoms under them. Trunkettes.
There are a ton of cute swim dresses out there too. Check out this one! and in pink! I got mine three years ago at Macy’s/ It was a total fluke and for two years I didn’t see swim dresses around at all. This year they are everywhere.There is some catalog that is full of them but I cant remember which… I thought it was Athleta but maybe not. Oooh, not a dress but still outrageously cute!
Everyday Goddess talks about vlogging in her bathing suit.
Here is Suzanne’s Blogher post about the Swimsuit Brigade for Honest Photos
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June 30, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Of course, i love your bathing suits and you look awesome! Also, your sandy crotch issue is one of many reasons that I avoid beaches. I cannot make it clear enough how much I hate sand. Hate it. You are my bathing suit inspiration, though, as it was your suggestion to look into board shorts so that I need not worry about my bikini line. Now I don’t even need to shave my thighs. It is so wonderful.
June 30, 2008 at 6:29 pm
it’s funny, i don’t care how i look when i go to the pool to swim laps, and i’ll wear whatever bathers (bathing suit) is clean and plod around with all my hair in tact and wobbly bits hanging out and don’t care who looks and what they think. but i won’t do that at the beach. at the beach i feel totally like a beached whale and feel like hair and whiteness and wobbly bits are a cardinal sin. why is it so? is it because the beach is populated by young girls in cute bikinis while the pool is populated by little old vietnamese women who are more interested in dunking my baby than in my thighs?
June 30, 2008 at 6:30 pm
p.s. i love those swim dresses.. they haven’t hit the beaches here yet, as far as i know…
June 30, 2008 at 6:35 pm
I think you look FANTASTIC!!! Super hot in your cute bikini top. When you’re carting around baby, I’m sure it’s total MILF action. Seriously.
June 30, 2008 at 8:34 pm
I was at the pool for the kids’ lessons, and one of the instructors didn’t show. The pool manager, a woman in her mid-sixties, stripped off her clothes to reveal a swimsuit underneath, and got right in the water to substitute for the missing instructor. I kept sneaking looks at her, because I hardly ever see anyone normal in a bathing suit. She had a rounded tummy. Her thighs looked like mine will look in about 25 more years. Her knees had little folds over them. Her upper arms were full of folds. And she was not one bit self-conscious. And I was practically damp-eyed about it—like, why can’t this be normal? She looks perfectly fine, and normal, and most of it is that she’s not worrying about how she looks.
June 30, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I’m so glad Suzanna inspired us to do this! Good for you, and I love board shorts! I had actually forgotten about the sandy crotch thing until you mentioned it. (or I blocked it out?), but I think there are still adult swimsuits that make the little pocket for catching sand. What is up with that?
July 5, 2008 at 11:33 am
I think you look fabulous. Srsly. I swoon at the beauty that is you. Your presence is unique, hoo baby, and must be celebrated.
As a boy when jumping into a pool I used to get balloon pants. Our bathing trunks would fill up with air from underneath and get trapped by the elastic band on top. Water-wing pants, sorta, though not buoyant enough to keep you afloat. Always good for a “farting in the water” joke. Did girls get that too?
July 12, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Those are awesome!! I’m trying to find mine now to add. So great.
July 25, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I was *just* trying to explain to someone the other day about those sand-shovel bathing suit crotches. How annoying they were! And why did they make little girls’ bathing suits that way??
Why would you put a special extra reinforcing panel or lining in a tiny kid’s bathing suit bottoms anyway?
And if you did, why would you make it like a pocket and not a completely sewn shut lining?
August 12, 2008 at 2:03 pm
hey- I’ve been meaning to say just how much I liked this post. you are awesome!
May 6, 2009 at 4:40 am
Great post. I especially like the first one, in the kitchen: your face just looks SO radiant, happy, gorgeous.
And, your calves really don’t look that big! Maybe your feet are smallish & that is why you’re having a hard time getting boots to fit in the calf?