Thank you for not being perky

I’m obsessed with my new iPhone. It’s so handy! I’ve read 5 books on it using the kindle reader and downloaded a ton more for free! for Stanza from the Gutenburg Project. You can get things for free or very cheap from amazon too, things like Ruth Fielding of the Red Mill, read Badgers riveting play by play here, it is teh AWESOME! I swears.

I’ve developed a brand spanking new wrist/hand problem from holding the damned thing and scrolling to turn the page. But I care not! I will never let my iPhone go. When Jack remembers his toddler years all his memories of me will be with me holding this phone thingy up to my face and by the time he is remembering shit like this he will have a phone jack implanted in his fucking HAND that like plugs into his eyeball. Or something. The future is HERE!

So I read all the Marked series by P.C. cast and Kristen cast. Heeeheheee. Hiiilarious vampire finishing school girl books where she worries constantly about being a slut, and how much she likes drinking blood and gets awesome sapphire tattoos all over her.

If you say toddler over and over again it stops sounding like a word. Speaking of toddlers… Mr. Pants… is fantastic and all that, HOWSOMEVER. He is also all about hitting lately and saying “FIGHT!”. WHA? Rallys? Where did he get this?! And he scrunches his face all up and flails his arms around. It’s really annoying and I hope it goes away FAST like.

Also, he thinks falling is really hilarious. One time, like a year ago he fell off the couch and in order to make him not freak out about it I fell off the couch on purpose and was like all hahahaha see it’s FUNNY. And then Vim called me a bad example parent and ever since Jack has thought that falling is really funny. Farting and prat falls ARE funny but the endless two yr old variety are NOT. Please don’t let my cute little boy be one of those horrible violent little boys like the ones in my neighborhood when I was little! PLEEEESE!

In other new we took Amtrak’s Coast Starlight train down to San Luis Obispo and it rocked. I shall never travel any other way. Imagine air travel but without the lines, hassle, other people, lack of space and otherwise all round misery. Instead, Imagine walking up to the train, getting on, going to your room, spreading your shit all over, having the car attendant bring you your complementary champagne and then having the train star its happy rocking hooting lullaby to you as you go merrily on your way. Then go to the parlor car and order some food and coffee and more booze. Then, go back to your room (with private bathroom and SHOWER) and fold out your couch into a bed with four fluffy pillows and have a nap.

It’s traveling with a zero hassle, if a tad expensive and not really practical if you are in a hurry.

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