Thank you for not being perky

My theory is that if an old cat is fat and lazy then it is happy. Never mind that people put their old cats on diets and shit. We tried this with Vim’s cat and now we are trying it with mine. The plan is simply to stuff her with canned cat food. As with Vim’s cat before her she is proving that Operation Fat and Happy does not really work. It would be more aptly named if I called it Operation Meowy and Underfoot.

It has been a few weeks now. Squeeger has been totally meowy and underfoot until today. Today she was not underfoot this morning and so I forgot to feed her. I remembered this afternoon and called her and put out some canned food. A different kind than usual. She came down and seemed interested but then didn’t really eat much of it. Usually she bolts it down. She seems listless.

When January rolled around this year all I could think was that my cat would probably die this year. She was born in 1994 in our neighbors car. Her mom was named stinky because she had a horrible chronic pooping problem and often when you picked her up or petted her she would fart rather horribly. We never took her to the vet because we had no money.

When the kittens were born we moved them all to the bottom shelf of my bookcase. Badger and I took pictures of them all carefully balanced on a red velvet pillow. Too bad we were too poor to have a decent camera. I might have these pictures somewhere.

I’ve always been freakishly obsessed with my cat. It might be hideous guilt from having allowed her sister to get hit and killed by a car. What can I say? I was living in a crack house.

I do not want her to die. I don’t know what I’ll do. I cried for like a month and could probably burst into tears right now just thinking about Vim’s cat. And I only knew her for like 5 years.

I hope Jack remembers her.

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