SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE!
Let’s be clear. I’m not critiquing Brave’s technical achievement or it’s entertainment value.
So. I was really really hoping this movie would have some female characters.Let’s count up, shall we? the mom, Merida, screaming boob joke lady, 2 screaming female servants, witch, and some screaming swooning lady fans in the festival scene. very, very disappointing. Let’s get real here. The clans get together for this big important event and didn’t bring their queens? their daughters? whyfor? Let’s just SHOW SOME FEMALES FOR FUCK’S SAKE. Have them doing anything, please, except screaming there was already plenty of that. There was a whole hall full of men being manly and comparing dick size where was the hall filled with women bemoaning this new generation of girls who want to control their own lives or something. FEMALES! WE HAS THEM.
The mother is portrayed as a nagging controlling fishwife stereotype. Do I need to elaborate why that is fucking stupid and annoying? Basically the whole movie and all this shit happens because MOMMY IS A BITCH and TEENAGE GIRLS ARE PETULANT.
The father doesn’t seem to even give a shit about the whole betrothal thing. in fact, it seems like the mom basically forced it to happen. so.. clearly there was not even an urgent need to secure peace in this way. so the male clan heads had some whiney dick fights and the only thing that can placate them is some FREE PUSSY? please. It doesn’t even make any sense in this case if she marries into one of the other clans that would just cause two clans to be allied. what about the others? In the throne room the clan heads talk about how they are ALREADY bonded from past experiences.
Technically this movie passed the Bechdel Test but only by a bare minimum and there are some problems. Merida and mom talk to each other about not a man and Merida and the witch talk to each other about not a man. BUT. They are mostly talking about how Merida is ALL WRONG the way she is and how she must always remember her gender. And she only seems o be all wrong to the mother, no one else seems to care what she does, it’s not like there is a kingdom full of ladies all acting prissy and bridling at her saucy tomboy behavior. No one bats an eye.
Also, how did she get to be such a great archer if she spent all her time being bullied by her mom into doing girly shit? She specifically says she only occasionally makes it out of the castle to ride and shoot.
This is NOT a movie about a girl having an adventure. This is a movie about a girl who is desperate and forced to do something underhanded and horrible just to have anyone bother to listen to her.
The mom saved Merida from the bear 3 times. Once as a little girl, once from the old throne room and again at the end of the movie. I guess Merida saves the mom from the ravening hoard of men driven by bloodlust that one time by locking them on the roof, oh wait, but actually it’s her little brothers do that. damn.
Where was the Braveness? So she’s Brave for daring to have a vagina and wanting to control her fate? and fate? really? She’s Brave for standing up to her mother? The moral of this story could just be something like: use nonviolent communication techniques when talking with your loved ones. AAAEEEEEIIIIIII That’s so boring!
Merida collapses crying in a heap 3-4 times. Many of her actions are driven by a very frantic and desperate fear. It’s brave to keep on looking for a solution even when you know you’ve royally fucked up and turned your mum into a bear and you are scared as shit, I suppose. However, this leaves me highly unsatisfied.
Up until the very last second she is still unsure, tears welling in her eyes, waiting to see if her SEWING (for realz, y’all) and COMPROMISE will be enough to undo the spell that caused her mom to become a fucking bear. Super brave. I know I can craft a halloween costume out of that one! whheeeeee!
I might think of more to say.
If you would like to comment with an actual comment that might forward this as a discussion feel free to. If you want to comment to bring up instances maybe where a man in a film cried or ‘but in real life men blahblahblah, too’ or you want me to justify my conclusions then DO NOT comment, if you do I will delete it. Instead, write your own rant or go read a Feminism 101 FAQ.
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